Great Outdoors:
SF’s Best Patio Bars
- A party on the back patio at the Pilsner Inn
by Matt Baume
At long last, summer’s here, and that means it’s time to peel off the hoodies and hats and lounge in the sun. It’s patio season at last. Looking for a fruity cocktail that comes with a healthy dose of fresh air? Look no further than the heart of the Castro, where your options for outdoor drinking are plentiful.
It’s hard to say no to Lucky 13’s free popcorn, photo booth, and rock-n-roll attitude. Or for something more space-agey, head up Market Street to Lime, the inside of which looks like a set from the movie Barbarella. Lime’s bottomless mimosas have earned it a reputation as the Castro’s favorite place to kick off the weekend with a hearty brunch.
The Lookout’s just a stumble away from Lime, where the balcony makes for prime people-watching. And when the sun sets, you can look forward to trivia nights on Monday, all you can eat pizza on Tuesday, Wednesday’s “Mary Go Round” drag show, and half-off wine on Thursday.
To call Q Bar “crowded” on busy nights is an understatement. Even if you can squeeze into a spot on the patio, get ready to rub shoulders, along with a number of other body parts. But that’s okay. Q Bar attracts a handsome bunch, particularly when Booty Call Wednesdays roll around. “The dance floor is crowded,” observed one patron, “but you can always dry-hump.”
- The backyard scene at Wild Side West. photo: Rick Gerharter
The atmosphere’s a bit more laid-back at The Mix, next door to the “Bear” Starbucks. Friendly bartenders, strong drinks, and a well-stocked jukebox keep the locals coming back. And when you’re suffering Badlands fatigue, just wander across the street to Toad Hall for a calm crowd on the cozy patio, and a little dancing to that ever-elusive phenomenon: hip-hop in the Castro.
Back down Market Street (at Church St.) the Pilsner is the President of Patios. Spacious and crowd-friendly with Watermelon Wheat beer on tap, you couldn’t ask for a more unpretentious crowd. Grab a bite on Chow’s patio next door, then head to the Pilsner for a nice lazy afternoon.
Of course, the city overflows with patios and gays beyond just the Castro. There’s also The Cinch over in the Tendernob, where Charlie Horse rules Friday nights and old-school regulars meet and greet. Get in early if you want to enjoy the patio, because it closes at 10pm.
Then head South of Market to The Eagle, and bring your uniform, leather, and a jock strap or two. All are welcome, but it’s burly dads who rule the scene, from the backyard barbecues to the Sunday beer busts. The pee-shy among us will need a few drinks before braving the trough in the bathroom nook.
- The ever-popular Sunday beer bust at the Eagle Tavern’s spacious patio. photo: Rich Stadtmiller
Heading even further afield? Wild Side West in Bernal Heights is a lesbian bar, but it’s so inclusive that you might not even notice, save for the ample supply of Bjork in the jukebox. Like El Rio’s backyard patio, Wild Side West’s is adorned with unusual art and splashy flora, lending it the air of an eccentric artist’s backyard. Watch out for assertive mint juleps.
Is it fair to call Zeitgeist a gayish bar? Nestled in a freeway’s armpit, the beer garden is like the world’s biggest hipster picnic; perfect for meeting a hetero-flexible bike messenger or prying a phone number out of the president of the Campus Marxist Association. Keep your eye out for the Tamale Lady while you argue about whether you’re in SOMA, the Mission, or the Lower Haight.
If you decide you’re in the Mission, check out Beretta for patio dining with a formidable menu: Cioppino, artisan salami, and pizzas with cod and capers for the adventurous. But if you’re in the Haight, head west to Gold Cane, a tucked-away fave with a pool table, notoriously chill vibe, and appropriately divey jukebox.
- The Lone Star Saloon’s popular patio. Photo: Fred Hoffknecht
And if that’s still too close to the Castro for your tastes, hit the Tee Off Bar in the Outer Richmond by 32nd Ave for a game of ping-pong; or cruise down to Crocker-Amazon’s Broken Record, where the food is fried and everyone recommends the bacon burger.
But wherever you wind up, remember to take deep breath, feel the sun on your face, and thank your lucky stars that you live in SF. Also, your mom asked us to remind you to wear sunscreen.
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