Bi the Way
San Francisco’s emerging bisexual nightlife
by Heather Cassell
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Love Triangle co-founder and promoters (center) Violeta Elisabet and Matt Bickel out with friends. Photo: Luis Allen
Love Triangle co-founder and promoters (center) Violeta Elisabet and Matt Bickel out with friends. Photo: Luis Allen
San Francisco offers bisexuals heading out for a night on the town many entertaining options, with a slight exception, an emerging nightlife scene by and for bisexual and non-monogamous individuals.
“The great thing about being bi is that so many different kinds of erotic information, play and kinds of sort of frisky dating opportunities are relevant to you,” said renowned bisexual activist and author Carol Queen.
“You don’t just have to go to a sex club,” added Queen, who used to host the famous Queen of Heaven sex parties in the 90s and early 2000s. Queen is also Good Vibrations’ resident sexpert and co-founder and executive director of the Center for Sex and Culture.
It’s true, San Francisco is a cornucopia of options for male, female, and transgender bisexuals seeking an evening on the town. But finding bisexual specific events and individuals who are “less allergic to bisexuals,” said Queen, and others, is another story.
Bisexuals, non-monogamous, and polyamorous individuals and couples have a difficult time finding places to meet people and accepting partners of their lifestyle, in spite of unlimited access to a variety of queer and straight nightlife entertainment. Add to that a bisexual nightlife scene that consisted mainly of discussion groups at queer community centers, tame brunches and dinner socials, and occasional movie nights at individuals’ homes.
But there are exceptions.
Kinky Salon, a private monthly themed play party at Mission Control, 2519 Mission Street, has been catering to bi and non-monogamous individuals seeking more interesting evening entertainment since 2003.
More recently, Love Triangle hit the scene earlier this spring. Nightlife veterans Violeta Elisabet and Matt Bickel launched the polyamorous and non-monogamous dance party extravaganza at the Blue Macaw, 2565 Mission Street, with their friend and co-promoter, Pepper Mint.
While both clubs have dress codes and conduct guidelines for guests, unlike Kinky Salon, Love Triangle isn’t a play party. It’s a club with DJs Tomas Diablo and Femme Mystique spinning a mix of 80s, Electro, Goth, and New Wave hits and unique entertainment from leather fashion shows to tarot readings.
A couple in business and life for the past five years, Bickel, 37, straight, and Elisabet, 39, bisexual, excitedly spoke over each other. They told BARtab that their goal was to create a comfortable and entertaining atmosphere that was more naturally social and safe for polyamorous and non-monogamous individuals and couples of all sexual orientations and genders to mingle.
The quarterly party has been such a hit –attracting more than 200 guests– that the promoters are taking the party monthly this fall, said Bickel. He hopes to see more diverse array individuals and couples at Love Triangle in the future.
Bisexuals seeking a tamer evening on the town also have some new and revived options. A monthly bisexual dinner event hosted by Elisa Welch meets at Café Flore every third Wednesday of the month from 8 p.m. to 11p.m. after the Castro Farmers Market. The dinner group is sometimes entertained by Welch’s band, the Buds. Brunchers might want to head to the Crepevine at 216 Church Street between 12:30 and 2p.m. every fourth Saturday of every month for the Bisexual Brunch.
“I want everyone to enjoy the evening together,” said Welch, an openly bisexual woman, who created the dinner group out of a desire for a more dynamic community social experience.
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Women at a recent Love Triangle event. photo: Luis Allen
Women at a recent Love Triangle event. photo: Luis Allen
Bi Events: September
Wed 1
Rope Bite Munch @ Wicked Grounds
Starting with the Rope Bite Munch, enjoy a variety of evening events throughout the month at this pansexual- and kink-friendly SOMA coffeehouse. 7pm–9pm. No cover. Check the online calendar for more events. 289 8th St. 503-0405. www.wickedgrounds.com
Thu 9
Love Triangle @ The Blue Macaw
A polyamorous and non-monogamous nightclub with DJs Tomas Diablo and Femme Mystique spinning 80s, Goth, Electro, and more for the pansexual dancers on the dance floor. Dress up for the autumn equinox to potentially win a prize. See website for conduct code. 9pm – 2am. $5 before 9:30pm, $8 after. 2565 Mission St. www.lovetrianglesf.com.
Fri 10
Teeth @ Center for Sex & Culture
An erotic readers open mic for anyone (bisexuals, lesbians, gay men, transgender, heterosexuals) who is sexual and has penned that passion. 7:30 – 9p.m. $5 – $20 sliding scale. Check the CSC calendar for other erotic events. 1519 Mission St. 255-1155. www.sexandculture.org
Tue 14
Writers with Drinks @ The Make-Out Room
Sci-Fi, fantasy, magical realism, slipstream writers Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn, The Wheel Of Time), Bonnie Burton (StarWars.com, Girls Against Girls), Kirsten Imani Kasai (Ice Song), Shailja Patel (Migritude, Dreaming In Gujurati) will read from their most recent and audience favorite works to benefit StrangHorizons.com. All proceeds will benefit the weekly speculative fiction web-based magazine. 6pm–9:30pm. $5-$10. 3225 22nd. St. 415-647-2888. www.writerswithdrinks.com www.makeoutroom.com
Wed 15
Bisexual Social Group @ Café Flore
Enjoy and evening of good food and wine at the bisexual dinner social after Castro’s Farmer’s Market. Come early for happy hour 4pm-8pm and enjoy discounts on wines by the glass or bottle until closing. 7pm–10pm. No cover. 2298 Market St. Contact Elisa Welch, elisa@elisawelch.com. http://cafeflore.com.
Sat 18 – 23
Good Vibrations’ Fifth Annual Indie Erotic Film Festival @ Various venues
Enjoy an erotic week of events leading up to the premiere of the IXFF Independent Erotic Film competition at the Castro hosted by Peaches Christ and sexpert Carol Queen followed by the after party at the LookOut. 7 – 8p.m., 8 – 10p.m. $10 pre-party, $10 screening, which includes entrance into the after-party. Pre-party and premiere, 429 Castro St., after-party, 3600 16th St. 974-8985 x201 www.goodvibes.com
Sat 25
Bay Area Bisexual Network Brunch @ Crepevine
Enjoy brunch favorites at a kid- and vegetarian-friendly bi brunch hosted by Shelli Rawlings-Fein. 12:30 – 2p.m. Free. 216 Church St. shellimf@yahoo.com.
The Kinky Salon @ Mission Control
An entertainment experience for pansexuals that aims to please from DJs spinning a variety of music on the dance floor to a labyrinth of themed rooms for guests to get lost in. Get to know the codes and come out to play. Sign up for more information, http://kinkysalon.com
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