Laid’s Back
by Matt Baume
Let’s not kid ourselves, folks. People are having sex … with each other. And you could be one of them.
- Berkeley’s Steamworks, where cruising the locker room is encouraged.
If you’re in the mood to make some new friends and have a good time, you’re in luck: despite a citywide crackdown on bathhouses in the early 80s, San Francisco still boasts a healthy stable of saunas, theaters, and dungeons. (Warning/Firm Grasp of the Obvious Dept.: Links may not be safe for work.)
One of the most seasoned is the Tearoom Theater at 145 Eddy Street, open for over forty years. Traditionalists will appreciate the old-timey charm, intimate theater seats, and the low lighting. Stop by between 9 and 10am for early bird special on lockers for stashing any extra apparel. And remember to bring cash for the $12 cover and the selection of DVDs available for purchase.
The Nob Hill Theater is another reliable standby. Like the Tearoom, it’s been entertaining gentlemen for nearly a half century, and features a big screen and a stage for dancers, and a regular troupe of engaging entertainers like Adrian, Isaic, Max, and Tiger. Those may not be their real names.
The Nob Hill’s shower shows are something special: patrons get to watch the dancers give themselves a vigorous hose-down. The stage, the showers, the booths, and the frisky clientele all lend themselves to a boisterous atmosphere. “It’s good for a quick blow-and-go,” said one regular. www.nobhilltheatre.com
For something gruffer, check out the tough-guy crowd at Mack Folsom Prison at 1285 Folsom St. Admission is free for active duty military personnel, and theme nights always draw a crowd: nudity on Monday, leather on Tuesday, gym gear on Wednesday, underwear on Thursday, and bears on Sunday. www.mackfolsomprison.com
Folsom Gulch at 947 Folsom boasts a wide selection of obscure porn, brand new video booths in the basement, and a better-than-average chance of meeting men who go home to wives. An all-day pass makes in-and-outs nice and easy, and the shop’s selection of toys has everything you could need. (Yelp reviews)
John Waters once said that if he was president, there would be “a Blow Buddies in every neighborhood! Just like Starbucks.” Blow Buddies is well-appointed, with social rooms, a maze, video booths, and jail cells. When the weather’s fair, the backyard area is a swell place to play. Friday and Saturday nights are Whiz World, so be sure to hydrate. www.blowbuddies.com
- SF Citadel’s amply-sized and well-equipped dungeon
Power Exchange is a sex club with staying power. It’s moved from place to place over the years, but has settled in comfortably at its current location at 220 Jones in the Tenderloin. A mixed crowd comes to PE: some straight, some gay, some couples. www.powerexchange.com
Just a short stroll from the bars at Church and Market is Eros, where a diverse crowd frolics in a maze of bunk beds and playrooms. There’s steam rooms, showers, and lube dispensers liberally dispersed throughout the premises to facilitate introductions. If you just need to unwind without the pressure of performance, non-sexual massages are available with a reservation. www.erossf.com
Willing to travel? Pack your bags for a trip to Steamworks at 2107 4th St in Berkeley. Modern and streamlined, the bathhouse chain offers a gym, sauna, and room from basic single-beds to extravagant prison cells. Membership starts at $20 a year, and the Frequent Fuckers program will earn you points toward a free locker and room upgrades. www.steamworksonline.com
- Make out by -or even in- the pool at San Jose’s Watergarden.
The Watergarden at 1010 The Alameda in San Jose is all about getting wet, and doing it in style and comfort. Like a posh spa resort, there’s no shortage of comfy social spots and friendly staff. Chat up the boys in the outdoor hot tub, take aim over the billiards table, spend some time in the showers, or book a private room on one of the theme nights that range from College Night to Latin Music Night to Buddy Night. www.thewatergarden.com
Closer to home is SF Citadel at 1277 Mission Street, calling itself “The Bay Area’s Premier Community Dungeon.” The spanking benches, spreader bars, and medical exam room will keep you occupied for hours, as well the regular parties and BDSM classes. Go ahead and get carried away, but don’t forget your manners: disruptively loud whip-cracks are frowned upon. www.sfcitadel.org
Whether you’re after a shower, a show, or a ride in a sling, your options are plentiful. And maybe someday, if you really want to be creative, at some point you might even consider having sex in your own home.
Related posts:
- Kyle King, Craig Reynolds
@ The Watergarden - Nob Hill Theatre
- Underwear Thursdays @ Powerhouse
- Soma Do: Leather/Kink. May I, Sir?
- Bay of Pigs @ Factory 525
