by Jim Provenzano

Bearded muscle bears cavort in pink tutus. Mustached twinks wrestle while coated in lube. Local authors verbally joust in bars. These are a few of our favorite new things.

San Francisco, known for its alternative scene, may occasionally suffer from hipster overload, and anything trendy does attract them. But no matter what style your jeans  (skinny, saggy or Mom), many standard venues are only too happy to host unusual fun events. And anyone, no matter their style, is welcome.

Rocket Collective DJs

Like a Rocket
For a taste of the playa without the dust, Rocket Collective’s monthly dance parties at The Rickshaw Stop blend costume-friendly ambiance with ear-friendly grooves. The love child of the hunky DJ quartet Mat dos Santos, David Sternesky, Trevor Sigler, and Brian Maier, since January, Rocket has shared a cartoonish Soviet-space-age camp derived from the guys’ Burning Man camp, Astropups.

According to Sternesky, Rocket aims “to promote alternative queer dance floor culture in San Francisco and on-playa.” The Rocket parties feature special artistic decor from the guest beneficiary camps every month, which Sternesky described as “Jetsons meets Scooby Doo.”

Amid the house/techno mix, friendly guys and some women danced while others hang back by the bar. In the upstairs lounge, patrons enjoyed the balcony view as a neon-winged bear cub served fresh-made waffles.

Other venues where the quartet spins include Bearracuda, Joe (at The Lookout), Booty Call (Q Bar), and even at Berkeley’s Steamworks bath house.

So, why bring the playa out of the desert?

“With Burning Man’s ticketing situation, we feel like it is more important than ever to create an accessible environment in the city where creative queers of all types can mingle, dance, and express themselves,” said Sternesky. “While nothing can replace the totally immersive experience of being on-playa, we hope that our party succeeds in bringing a taste of The Burn right into the heart of San Francisco every month.”

The Rocket guys hold their events at the Rickshaw Stop for a lot of reasons, said Sternesky. “It’s a great space with amazing sound and friendly staff. It’s convenient to public transit, and it has a stage for live performers.” The mezzanine level also affords space for art installations and a little oasis away from the dance floor.

The mezzanine view of Rocket at The Rickshaw Stop. photo: Georg Lester

Sternesky noted that despite hosting many live music nights, and the women’s night Cockblock party for six years, the Rickshaw Stop has been somewhat “’off the gaydar’ for many gay male club-goers in San Francisco,” he said. “We’re thrilled to help solidify its spot on that particular map. Establishing a reputation in a space without a built-in crowd of regulars is creatively liberating. The audience comes without preconceived notions about what the venue is like.”

www.rocketsf.com will lead you to each DJ’s site. The May 26 Rocket at the Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell St, benefits the Sun Guardians.  Rocket Collective also spins at Bearracuda, Saturday May 19, at Holy Cow, 1535 Folsom St. $6-$8. www.Bearracuda.com

Literary Death Match

To the Death!
With events now branching out all over the planet, Literary Death Match has become more than a trend. It’s also more than a literary reading (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It’s more like a reading on steroids and two shots of Jagermeister. Writers and storytellers compete to tell the wildest, most entertaining or fantastic tale of the night. The judges are often literary stars themselves and pull no punches in their American Idol-esque critiques. Altogether, it’s fun with words, and booze.

Literary Death Match next invades the Elbo Room, Friday May 11, with Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Mark Fiore, author Michael David Lukas and Dublin poet Sarah Marie Friffin. Among the judges is Lambda Literary Award winner Rakesh Satyal (author of the must-read Blue Boy). $7-$10. 647 Valencia St. $7-$10. 552-7788. www.literarydeathmatch.com

Go Deep! Lube Wrestling at El Rio. photo: Georg Lester

Madly, Deeply
On a particularly unusual night in April, the night of a reported 750 lightning strikes amid a torrential rainstorm, a bevy of cute men got wet in a different way, by getting lubed up in a cordoned-off baby pool.

Under the auspices of the eclectic and decidedly old school stylings hearkening back to Vaudeville days, Go Deep! Lube Wrestling is the latest event spun into being by the Bohemian Brethren. Known for their Boylesque male dance troupe, the group’s co-creator Maximus Barnaby shared how the women’s edition of Go Deep, having already gained an ardent fandom with its Red Hots Burlesque performances, decided to include a men’s version on alternate nights (first Thursdays), and let the Brethren produce it.

Six years ago, Barnaby and his brother brought dancing, singing, stripping cuties together to provide saucy Weimer Era-styled live entertainment to nightclubs.

With his theatre training, and a grant to create a vaudeville circus show based on his experiences in Berlin, Barnaby also studied at San Francisco’s Circus Center, then found opportunities, he said, “to pull together my friends and showcase them onstage.”

The six-guy collective has visited a few cities, but has yet to officially tour. Locally, they always get a great reaction.

“Audiences want performers who have an actual skill,” said Barnaby. “We’ve been honing our craft for years, be it contortionism or juggling chainsaws. It’s not just entertainment. San Francisco is so appreciative of anything that diverges from mainstream culture. And we like audience participation.”

SF Boylesque

Well, maybe not in juggling chainsaws, but lube wrestling participants are selected volunteers. “There’s a thrill about being alive and participating, a risk of the chance of engagement,” said Barnaby of the events, and his troupe’s other gigs. “There’s a chance of failure; everyone’s holding their breath with anticipation. It’s just this ethereal moment that’s created, that can’t be recreated after the moment that brings them together.”

The April night of the great lightning is a great example. “It was just spectacular!” said Barnaby. “I have a terror of doing shows in the rain, but people still came.”

Fortunately, their show wasn’t outside on the patio, but others enjoyed the thrill of being doused and potentially electrocuted outside while hunks slipped and slid in a lubey baby pool indoors.

Other preferred venues for the troupe’s more formal shows include vintage theatres and nightclubs with a sense of retro style, like the Palace of Fine Arts, or Bimbo’s. “We like venues that architecturally were the crème de la creme.”

The Bohemian Brethren can be seen monthly at Go Deep: For The Boys May 10 and June 14, at the Hayes Valley Follies (at Marlena’s, 488 Hayes St.) May 26 and June 23, and at Bootie at DNA Lounge (375 11th St.) on May 26.  www.barnabysonline.com www.elriosf.com/472011-go-deep/

I was on the phone with my mother, discussing her upcoming trip to San Francisco, when she said, “I can’t wait to see Fisherman’s Wharf!”

I immediately cringed. I tried to explain that most locals would never willingly go there, unless it was the result of losing a bet. While Pier 39 and its surroundings may be more family-friendly, with kitschy shops, squawking sea lions and metallic human-robots who dance when change charges their buckets, the real pulse of San Francisco goes beyond overpriced bread bowls and tourist trap bars.

I spoke to some locals to find out their favorite unusual and alternative spots that make San Francisco night life special.

Scott Nolen, a six-year resident of San Francisco, often saunters to the Tenderloin to seek refuge from the scenesters who plague many city bars.

The Brown Jug Saloon

A quintessential dive bar, The Brown Jug Saloon (496 Eddy St.) has all the grit and grime you’d expect given its location, and that’s part of what makes it truly memorable.

“The drinks are cheap, and strong enough to make you forget that the working woman next to you just explained what you can get in the alley for $5,” says Nolen. “Of course, this was after she explained that she was trying to save up to buy her teeth back.”

Hugging the other side of Civic Center is Hayes Valley, home of the dim and inimitable bar, Marlena’s (488 Hayes St.) “This is the first bar I fell in love with in San Francisco,” notes Scott. While its clientele varies, Scott has a helpful hint for that woman you may be eyeing in the corner. “No, she doesn’t have Madonna arms. That’s a man in lady’s apparel.”

Marlena performs at her eponymous bar. photo: Rich Stadtmiller

Marlena’s hosts many a benefit, and a weekly drag show with performers who seem to have been, um… one too many times around the wig store. Most memorable is their sprawling suburban-grandma-esque collection of Santa dolls, which takes over the narrow bar every holiday season. www.marlenasbarsf.com

Chris Sams is a nonprofit program director who has resided in San Francisco for 13 years. No stranger to the bar scene, Chris enjoys Truck (1900 Folsom Street at 15th) as one of his alternative go to bars. “The bartenders are friendly, the entertainment is so varied, and it’s a fun venue for people-watching.”

Truck Bar. photo: Rick Gerharter

Complete with license-plate light fixtures and a corner kitchen serving up tasty bar food, Truck is a ‘Sybil’ on the bar scene, as its personality and offerings change not just from day to day, but hour to hour. At happy hour, folks just out of work can be seen drinking beers and eating burgers. Then, just hours later on an average Tuesday night, the club converts into Busted, a ’speakeasy-style’ club night involving a secret password! to enter. www.trucksf.com

Before getting too crazy, Chris suggests hitting an improv or sketch show such as Bay Area Theater Sports at Fort Mason, or Killing My Lobster Improv comedy, which is often overlooked. But let’s face it; even if the show is a flop, most theaters usually have cheap wine and beer for a small donation.

Off the Grid

If you’re headed to Fort Mason on a Friday night, you may run into Off the Grid, which takes over much of the complex’s parking lot to accommodate hordes of hungry hipsters and the more than 40 food trucks serving offbeat cuisine from their galleys. This can all be washed down with beer and cocktails available at multiple stands for somewhat reasonable prices. www.offthegridsf.com

It seems that San Franciscans are forever riding the trend wave, from scouting out the newest, spiciest food trucks to dive bars with cheap beer, or new crafty cocktail venues. Now, all this can be combined, with bowling! Mission Bowling Club (3176 17th St.) has combined the working-class sport of bowling, with mixologist-made cocktails and an upscale restaurant, all in one hipster-iffic setting.

Mission Bowl. photo: Niall Kennedy

On a recent Friday evening, the wait for a lane was already ten parties long, even at 6:30 p.m. While our party got too tipsy to bowl, we did spend two hours drinking expertly crafted cocktails, eating fancy foods on sticks and enviously watching others throw their fluorescent bowling balls down the sleek lanes, hoping against hope that we too might soon do the same. www.missionbowlingclub.com

That’s just a glimpse of some “off the radar” night spots in San Francisco, but I encourage you to plan your own scavenger hunt of night spots and see what treasures you may turn up. Whether you’re looking for a shot of whiskey and a back-alley blowjob all for under ten dollars, or expertly-made cocktails with ingredients whose names you can barely pronounce, San Francisco has it all, and more.

Mark's Bar

New bar, old ‘hood

by Michael Flanagan

About a half year ago I noticed activity at 1092 Post Street, the former home of the Lush Lounge.  This was good news, because that corner had been quite lively in the past. When I happened upon Mark’s Bar after it opened, the first thing I noticed was the sound from the street.  From outside I could hear the laughter and the sound of bar dice slamming on the bar. It was certainly a welcome sound, as the bar (which has been open since October) had been unoccupied for three years since the Lush Lounge moved up the street.

Upon entering the bar you are transported:  the blue of the walls and the glass panels with iris behind the bar make you feel as if perhaps you have entered some cousin of Li Po on Polk Street.  This is not unintentional. To honor his lover Mark Aloiau (originally from Hawaii), Chris Amburn has decorated the bar in an Asian style, incorporating silk paintings bought in Chinatown and a blue (Mark’s favorite color), yellow and red color motif.  Behind the bar resides a gong which is run whenever a round is bought by a bar patron. This place is both a breath of fresh air and harkens back to friendly Polk Street watering holes of the past.

Then there is the crowd that the bar attracts: in equal parts locals from the neighborhood and patrons from the karaoke bar Chris and Mark own on California Street, the Encore. The feeling of neighborhood which reigns in the bar is not unintentional. Chris hired Johnny, Kenny and Jose from Kimo’s after it closed for renovation. And from the frames on the pictures to the lights in the bar and the produce, all were bought from businesses on Polk Street. This emphasis on neighborhood is a key to success Chris is copying from his other bar, where Kipper (from Divas) works.

The bar up close

Chris named the bar after Mark, his lover of twenty-nine years. Chris explains:  “When we met in 1982 just before gay pride I knew it was fate.” It’s obvious from the attention to detail that this bar is an expression of that love. From the choice of the wood for the bar, which Chris had searched for three months before settling on the zebrawood that seems perfect, to a rather amazing jukebox which featuring rock, hip hop and country, the place is comfortable and fun. Expect the eclectic in sounds (while I was there the memories of the ’70s were stirred by a sudden infusion of Barry White).

It’s wonderful to see a gay-friendly revival of part of Polk Street that has been an LGBT hotspot from the time Polk Gulch inhabited the spot before Lush Lounge, and when the Motherlode was on the other end of the block. The commitment to that revival is also shown in the concern that the bar remains a safe and friendly place (cameras outside the bar monitor the neighborhood).

Chris plans to have nine different beers on tap and booths upstairs which will available for private parties.  In a further addition to the Hawaiian theme, the bar will be mounting pictures and decorations from the SS Lurline (a cruise ship which travelled between Hawaii and San Francisco from the ’30s to the ’60s).

Happy hour runs from 1pm to 7pm daily, and Mai Tai madness ($5 Mai Tais) is all day Sundays.  Look for specialty drinks (Wasabi Martinis and Ginger Manhattans) in the near future. Stop by Mark’s at the corner of Post and Polk and welcome a worthwhile, and friendly, addition to the neighborhood.

Mark’s Bar, 1092 Polk St. 829-3623. www.facebook.com/#!/marksbarsf

by Dr. Jack Fritscher

No woman ever conquered SoMa bar culture more than Camille O’Grady. Gender-bending as a Jim Morrison lookalike leatherman in 1979, she placed third in the Brig’s “Mr. Leather Contest.”

As a biker, she gunned her Harley-Davidson through the aisles of the Leatherneck. As an artist, she helped her lover, iconic Oscar Streaker Robert Opel, re-conceptualize the bar art of Chuck Arnett, Lou Rudolph, and Jim Stewart to gallery legitimacy on the walls of Fey-Way Studio. Championing bar artists, Fey-Way was the first gay galley South of Market. Its 1978 founding re-branded “South of Market” into the trendy new acronym SoMa.

Before Camille arrived on-scene, gay men’s acquaintance with women in leather began with Ann-Margret in Kitten with a Whip (1964) and ended with Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS (1975), two cult favorites screened by the Ramrod to draw crowds on Tuesday nights. While Cynthia Slater (Society of Janus) preferred private dungeons to Folsom bars, O’Grady was a public sex and art provocateur. Hanging in 1960s Manhattan with Lou Reed, she both balled the young Robert Mapplethorpe and performed at CBGB before her arch-rival Patti Smith.

Brig owner Hank Diethelm, who fled Hitler’s Germany and later created his own pop-up Folsom Cabaret, booked Camille, who performed her bar-action songs like “Toilet Kiss.”

Camille set the men’s bar scene on its ear. Hot 1970s bar culture was haute on exhibiting art. During that Titanic decade before the iceberg of HIV, I was editor of Drummer magazine, featuring different bars monthly. As an activist, Camille wrote to me defending edgy leather-bar exhibits, like artist Tom Hinde’s, from politically correct critics damning Folsom culture as a “hell of depravity” as described in The Sentinel.

She joined our diverse Drummer salon of artists, photographers, and writers like Thom Gunn, whose poems praised Folsom bar behavior. Like Christopher Isherwood romancing Sally Bowles in 1930s Berlin, many 1970s leathermen pub-crawled with a straight hot girlfriend who was a player.

The beautiful O’Grady had a big personality and small hands. Her writing nailed bar culture. During the Brig contest, her leatherman drag confused a close friend who asked him/her, “Hey, man. You’re wearing all those long necklaces. I know Camille. How did you get her to part with them?” He/she answered, “Darling, I am Camille.”

On March 3, 1979, leathermen jammed the Ambush for the opening reception of a photography exhibit by Jim Stewart, author of Folsom Street Blues. Ambush owner David Delay’s poster featured Stewart’s photograph of a ‘bead-dazzled’ Camille holding a phallic whip: “Special Guest Performance Camille O’Grady.”

Four months later, during mid-evening, July 7, two gunman entered Fey-Way, and forced Camille and a visitor to lie flat on the floor while they demanded money from Robert Opel who said, “Don’t hurt them.” They killed him.

Even with O’Grady’s detailed courtroom testimony, Opel’s assassination remains one of the great unsolved mysteries of San Francisco. Emerging from witness protection, O’Grady is penning her memoir and appears in Robert Oppel’s Netflix documentary Uncle Bob, and in the books Hard Corps, Folsom Street Blues and Gay San Francisco, and at www.JackFritscher.com.

© 2012 Jack  Fritscher

by Ronn Vigh

It’s evening on a Tuesday that was presumably spring-like in San Francisco: a day filled with sunshine, and a light breeze that has quickly turned dark and bone chilling, prompting me to step out the door, then run back inside as if I were surprised, to grab my black scarf and fingerless gloves before running off to the Market Street platform at which Nextbus has (wrongfully) predicted an F train will arrive in two minutes.

That is how most of my Tuesday evenings seem to start. Add a dose of me talking to myself on the street (reciting new jokes) with a disorganized stash of tattered paper notes falling out of a folder haphazardly wedged into my tote bag, and you’ve got the full prelude to my long-standing date with Harvey’s, at 18th & Castro Streets, for my weekly stand-up comedy show, Harveys Funny Tuesdays.

Each week I host a new lot of guest comedians and entertainers, which proves to be equal parts exhilarating and unnerving. Anything can go wrong, and in the history of this show, it has.

We’ll start with the peccadilloes: On many occasions, comics simply don’t show up; but that’s the best case scenario. (I’ve also had a comic show up drunk and still attempt to do comedy. It was funny, but not in the way it should have been.)

Audience members have even been drunk and tried to stumble onstage. I’ve left my food at a table to go onstage, and come back to find that some tipsy barfly ate half of it. The sound equipment has stopped working halfway through the show. The lights have gone out. Small groups of naked men have formed outside, staring into the windows. Putting on a good show is a task that requires a lot or preparation, yet you can really never, ever, ever be too prepared. Ever. (Don’t believe me? Keep reading.)

Nonetheless, with the help of Harvey’s great staff, the stage presence and punchlines of all my guests, and an audience eager to laugh, we pull it off, week after week.

I started a bi-weekly comedy night at Harvey’s in 2005. At the time, it wasn’t much of a hit. Our core demographics were packs of boys trying to sober up to prepare for round two of drinking, and disgruntled bears eating burgers. A few years later, after a vivid makeover and shift in management, Marga Gomez started a Tuesday night comedy series called Marga’s Funny Tuesdays. This morphed into Harvey’s Funny Tuesdays, and comedy night in the Castro has been a staple ever since.

Even one of those aforementioned unnerving moments for comedienne Dhaya Lakshminarayanan (that is not a typo), hasn’t kept her away from the Harvey’s stage. A five-year veteran of the comedy scene, Dhaya describes herself as a strong, petite, bold woman of color with opinions, which she finds leads to most of her biggest supporters being women and gay men. However, she says, on one of her many nights performing at Harvey’s, she got more than she’d bargained for.

“I got on stage with my back towards a glass window.  You can see most everyone in the club, except the people outside behind you,” notes Dhaya. “A few minutes into my act, I saw a guy in the front table, texting on his iPhone. He didn’t stop. So I called him out on it.”

What followed from there was bitchy remarks from the guy in question, followed by witty retorts from Dhaya (which I experienced firsthand). The text monster began to yell, “I’m the wrong person to mess with!”

Ultimately, the audience, who was on Dhaya’s side, had enough of his disrespect and he was asked to leave by the staff. Dhaya recalls “In reality, honey, if you’re a heckler, the ‘wrong person to mess with’ is the little girl with the microphone!”

But that’s not all: There ensued one of the most startling moments ever in the history of Harvey’s Funny Tuesdays. “Here’s what I didn’t expect. Mr. Rage on his iPhone slammed his stuff on the table. He looked right at me like he was about to hit me, but instead exited out the door and put his fist through the glass window behind me, and it shattered!” A little shocked, Dhaya continued on without missing much of a beat, telling the audience, ”I’m going to keep going but, I’m well aware … It’s hard to compete with crackheads.” Cue thunderous applause.

Morgan, a transgendered comedienne who has been doing stand-up and storytelling for seven years, loves the crowd and uncertainty an evening at Harvey’s Funny Tuesdays can bring. “When Harvey’s is full and I make that connection with the people in the room, there is nothing like it! That is why we do comedy,” says Morgan. “Though I do remember the night that I agonized over what to wear on stage at Harvey’s….. only to look out the window to see the two old naked guys walking by!”

Peeking up and seeing two naked old men just on the other side of some thin glass is enough to make Morgan drop her chicken finger midway to her mouth, which, by the way, is her favorite thing to order on the menu. The menu is available through most of the show. Much like my pre-show ritual, I’m usually spotted chowing down on Harvey’s Buttermilk Chicken and Fries, making up for those three years I was vegetarian.

Harvey’s Funny Tuesdays is a lot like a potluck. It’s free to attend. There is a new, diverse line-up of comedians each week of all backgrounds and genres. The crowd is made up of local residents, community figures and tourists taking in that Castro experience.

And if it’s your lucky night, you might even bump into a loose penis on your way in.

Comedy events with a gay bent take place all over town this month. While you can often find local and nationally known LGBT comics at such venues as Cobb’s Comedy Club and The Punch Line, it wasn’t long ago that patrons had to navigate some odd waters between gay, gay-friendly and outright gayphobic stand-up acts.

Along with Funny Tuesdays at Harvey’s, Lisa Geduldig’s Kosher Comedy (held mostly at El Rio these days), and the new Comedy Bodega at Esta Noche, LGBT witticists perform at theatres and nightclubs. Siuch is the case with the very queer Q Comedy.

The baby of writer-musician Larry-bob Roberts and Nick Leonard, the event hosts a diverse array of comics each month. Most recently, Martuni’s has been their home. This month, they have two shows at Stage Werx.

“The establishment comedy venues had little interest in or support of LGBTQ performers, and barely tolerated women comedians,” said founder Nick Leonard.” In January 2000 he and Roberts started Q Comedy “as a safe place for queer comedians and performers to develop, and a safe place for LGBTQ audiences to escape the homophobic, sexist and racist atmosphere of the straight clubs.”

Since then, Q Comedy nights have been held at Theater Rhino, Paul K restaurant, the LGBT Center, and several venues that are sadly no longer open. But nothing stops these roving jokesters from continuing their quest for quality queer quips.

“There are enough commercial and ego-driven venues,” said Leonard. “We want to keep it edgy and community-relevant. We also keep our admission prices affordable, with a ‘pay-what-you-can’ policy. Needless to say we usually lose money. But it’s worth it.” – Jim Provenzano

COMEDY NIGHT LINE-UP for APRIL

Funny Mondays @ Deco Lounge
Victor Torres hosts a comedy open mic night. 7pm-9pm. 510 Larkin St. at Turk. www.decosf.com

Funny Tuesdays @ Harvey’s
Ronn Vigh hosts the weekly LGBT and gay-friendly comedy night. One-drink or menu item minimum. 9pm. 500 Castro St. at 18th. 431-HARV. www.harveyssf.com

Thursdays: Comedy Bodega @ Esta Noche
Weekly LGBT and indie comic stand-up night hosted by “Mr. Gomez” (retired Telemundo extra and “associate” of comic Marga Gomez). 8pm-9:30pm. 3079 16th St.  at Mission.  www.comedybodega.com

Monday April 9: Kung Pao Kosher Comedy @ El Rio
Host Lisa Geduldig welcomes Dhaya Lakshminarayanan, Carla Clayy, Yayne Abeba, and Casey Grim for a night of multicultural wit. $7-$20. 8pm. 3158 Mission St. at Precita. www.koshercomedy.com www.elriosf.com

Monday April 16: Q Comedy @ Stage Werx Theater
It’s another night of gay comedy, with “Bobaloo” Koenig (from L.A.), Qcomedy founder Nick Leonard, Karen Ripley and host Scot Free, with other guests. $8-$20. 8pm. 446 Valencia St. at 16th. www.Qcomedy.com

Monday, April 23: Q Comedy @ Stage Werx Theater
Cookie Dough headlines an all-star comedy lineup with Morgan, Jennifer Dronsky, Valerie Branch, Cassandra Gorgeous, Lynn Ruth Miller, and Jill Bourque. $8-$20. 8pm. 446 Valencia St. at 16th. www.Qcomedy.com

Sunday, April 29: Queer Queens of Comedy @ The Rrazz Room
Poppy Champlin, Heather Gold and Kira Soltanovich perform comedy with a saphhic sardonic edge. $30. 3pm. 2-drink min. Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason St. (800) 380-3095.  www.TheRrazzRoom.com

Restaurants come and go so quickly here! One minute you’re making a reservation, the next your favorite tapas bar is a cupcake shoppe. Here’s a random sampling of new and recently opened eateries all over town, plus a few with a record of success.

Farina  (Mission District)
Ever since I attended a party at Farina that included a tiered cake made of prosciutto strips, this restaurant’s been high on my list for stylish peasant cuisine. With a delicious combination of fresh produce and imported ingredients, the varied daily menu ranges from calimari to sauteed asparagus, handmade tortellini and other pastas, and of course, Italian cheeses galore. The site of a former bakery, its retro exterior contrasts nicely with the balance of modern and traditional dishes. A multi-course  dinner can run up to $60 per person, so consider this a splurge. Or, for brunch or a glass of wine with appetizers, prices range from $10-$16 per dish. For a quick dinner date with zip, order a zesty Neopolitan pizza and a few Bellinis.
Farina, 3560 18th St. 565-0360. www.farina-foods.com

Grand Café (Union Square)
An old standby, the Grand Café won’t be going anywhere soon. You can depend on its swift staff and stiff drinks, plus their menu of nibbly things, to satisfy your pre- or post-theatre not-exactly-dinner date. The elegant Art Nouveau décor, nestled next to the Hotel Monaco, makes for a stylish French-inspired cocktail and snack session.
Grand Café, 501 Geary St. 292-0101. www.grandcafe-sf.com

Bisou (Castro)
Voulez-vous un peu plus ambiance Francaise? Bisou offers it in abundance in a pop-stylish intimate setting, notable for its trademark smooching lip prints. Despite the elegant cuisine, a meal won’t cost you too many francs. Local and organic ingredients are the heart of the menu, and the whimsical pop décor belies a seriously artistic presentation in the courses. Entrees range from $14 for penne pasta to steaks at $22. Check out the prix fixe menu ($26, 5:30-7pm) and brunch and dessert. For  a meal that’s both photogenic and a tasty favorite, let Bisou give you a kiss.
Bisou, 2367 Market St. 556-6200. www.bisoubistro.com

Jake's on Market

Jake’s (Castro)
The popular “No Name” restaurant at 2223 Market Street is no longer. Jake’s is now open in its place, and is quickly gathering fans. Burgers made with flair, and whimsical desserts are a specialty. Tim Travelstead and Brad Becker, long-time Castro residents named the new eatery after their son, to inspire him to eat dinner with his parents. Family is the attitude with the owners and neighbors, as local and organic ingredients bought from nearby grocers are chosen whenever possible. Entrees range from $15-$22 with hearty chicken, turkey and steak dishes. Vegetarians can enjoy a variety of pastas, salads and side dishes. But the menu is classic Americana food served up with panache.  A special late night menu’s available Thursday through Saturday until midnight. What would a Castro restaurant be without brunch? Grits, hash, maple-glazed ham, green eggs, and cocktails with a whimsical edge will finish your weekend off with style, and deserved calories. Enjoy getting to know the new kids on the block.
Jake’s, 2223 Market St. 431-0692. www.jakesonmarket.com

Boxing Room (Hayes Valley)
When Citizen Cake left its Hayes Valley location on the corner of Grove and Gough streets, dessert fans were bereft. Hopefully, they’ll take a liking to Cajun cuisine and delicious designer beers, because Boxing Room, now at 399 Grove St. since mid-2011, is gaining an eager fandom. Leave the fussier restarants nearby to the opera crowd. For hearty dining served by a friendly staff in a rustic/industrial open-kitchen space, the food and drinks hit the spot, particularly if you crave deep-fried alligator ($12 appetizer) a monster helping of trout ($22) or fried chicken ($20). Also, they’re sometimes open later for post-theatre dining. Choose from wheaty and meaty beers like Brekle’s Brown, Jockamo, or Old Rasputin, all of which range from $6-$10. Feeling romantic? Their eclectic wine menu (ranging from $20-$60) includes reds, whites and sparklings. And if you’re feeling French, you can walk half a block down Grove St to its cousin, Absinthe, also owned by the Absinthe Group.
Boxing Room, 399 Grove St. 430-6590. www.boxingroom.com

Citizen’s Band (South of Market)
While in South of Market, want a delicious $10 Kobe beef burger with fries or a salad? How about fish & chips for brunch after a bit of SoMa bar beer-busting? Breaker, breaker, the fun and faux-retro-styled Citizen’s Band will serve it up industrial-chic style. Fried chicken ($12), Mac & Cheese ($6) and less caloric salads are available from the concise yet tasty menu. Yes, the kitchen fans are as noisy as an airport runway, but the food is good. And right next door, Pinkie’s Bakery tempts with cakes, cookies and cupcakes. (Tue-Sat, 8am-3pm; Sun & Mon 9am-2pm). The restaurant is open till 11pm most nights.
Citizen’s Band, 1198 Folsom St. 556-4901. www.citizensbandsf.com

by Marga Gomez

Founded in 1982, The Valencia Rose Cabaret was an ambitious project that housed the world’s first gay comedy club, a queer activist meeting center, a vegetarian eatery and more into a two-story Spanish style building with 3D camel sculptures jutting out of its walls.

It’s where I became who I am now.  I had been bombing at open mics in San Francisco when I started in the 1980s. I would sometimes not mention my lesbianism in my act. As a new comic and a Latina, I could barely get any stage time as it was. One day I noticed a flier on a telephone pole about a “Gay Comedy Night” at The Valencia Rose.

I showed up that Monday in a red vintage dress. The room was full. I told my first gay joke which involved an old lady telling me, “It’s good to see dykes wearing dresses again.” They laughed and I got something I hadn’t experienced from any audience till then; love.

The Valencia Rose had the best audience a queer or queer-friendly comic could ever want. Donald Montwill, who became its artistic director in the second year, once said that queer audiences had been waiting for this place “where they could enjoy comedy and not be the butt of the joke, pun intended.”

The new Valencia Rose electrified the LGBT community of San Francisco almost four years after the loss of Harvey Milk and at the dawn of the AIDS crisis.  Hank Wilson, one of the founders of the Valencia Rose and a former school teacher, worked with Harvey Milk to defeat 1978’s Prop 6, which would have banned Gay teachers from public schools.  Through his unbridled activism, Hank met former teachers Ron Lanza, who would become his business partner at the cabaret, and Tom Ammiano (now California Assemblyman) who would run the Gay Comedy shows and become widely known as the “Mother of Gay Comedy.”

So if it hadn’t been for gay teachers in the ’80s, we might not have the rich gay comedy scene we have today in San Francisco at Harvey’s, QComedy, Comedy Bodega and El Rio.

Writer/director F. Allen Sawyer was the first manager to work there. He said, “I got to know Ron Lanza when I managed the Castro Theater. He’d stop in almost every day with his dog and never watch the movie. He’d just buy popcorn for the dog. One day he convinced me to quit my job and run his new theater.”

Sawyer learned he’d have to help build it first. Wilson and Lanza eventually bought a defunct mortuary on 766 Valencia St. and enlisted everyone they knew to renovate it and paint it pink. The former embalming room became the vegetarian restaurant and the chapel became the stage. Because the building had specially built ramps and wide doorways to move caskets in and out, The Valencia Rose became one of the first wheelchair accessible venues in San Francisco.

Wilson focused on the finances and keeping the Valencia Rose politically active. Lanza was responsible for booking most shows and Ammiano performed and booked the wildly popular Gay Comedy Nights on Saturdays and Mondays.

Some of the most notable comedians to appear were Reno, Lea Delaria, musical duo Romanovsky and Phillips, Monica Palacios, Karen Ripley, Marilyn Pittman, Danny Williams and Doug Holsclaw. When Donald Montwill became Artistic Director in 1983, he incorporated his booking philosophy to include all politically enlightened performers.

Montwill believed that “being queer is about breaking rules, and fighting bigotry and not just who you sleep with.” Joining the crew of LGBT performers were queer friendly performers: satirist Paul Krassner, Latino comedy troupe Culture Clash, Rocker and Comic Jane Dornacker, and Whoopi Goldberg.

Whoopi was part of F. Allen Sawyer’s most magical memory of Valencia Rose. “Some of her friends got a little drunk at her show. They started talking to her, nice things, but loud. Whoopi had to end her show before doing her last character. After the show a few of us were hanging out by the kitchen and Whoopi was feeling terrible. She said she needed to release that last character or she wouldn’t be able to sleep. So I said why don’t you do it now?” And there at the kitchen of Valencia Rose for four people, Whoopi Goldberg gave her last San Francisco performance before becoming world famous.

Marga Gomez is a comic performer and producer of Comedy Bodega at Esta Noche. www.margagomez.com

Clubs, Sandwiches
and More
by Ronn Vigh

About halfway through an evening of San Francisco clubbing and bar-hopping, the need for two things often emerges: a trip to the ATM and food. While many bars do tend to dress a dimly lit corner with a money machine, finding food in a club environment isn’t so easy. While stopping to provide your body with more substantial fare might sound less fun than nourishing it with repeated rounds of beers and shots, I’ve explored establishments that offer the best of both worlds, all in one place.

A neon sign, an entrance to a long, descending staircase and, during business hours, a flood of mostly skinny jeans-clad twentysomethings flooding the Market Street sidewalk for a smoke are Café Du Nord’s most identifiable features. Besides the long bar and nightly bands, the quaint underground pub boasts a dining menu for those who want to partake in dinner and a show. From Personal Pizzas to Pot Roast to Porcini Mushroom Ravioli, Café Du Nord has a variety of options for both meat lovers and vegetarians, and serves dinner 30 minutes after doors open. (2170 Market St. 861-5016. www.cafedunord.com)

Café Du Nord isn’t the only live music venue that boasts a full dinner menu. Slim’s, the sturdy, American-roots music mainstay on 11th Street, regularly offers a bar food-heavy selection, including Bacon-Cheddar Potato Skins, Quesadillas and Veggie Corn Dogs. They also serve more complete dinner choices that vary from night to night, and include salad, seasonal vegetables, a starch and dessert. (333 11th st. 255-0333. www.slims-sf.com)

Just down the street from Slim’s, DNA Lounge feeds hungry bar patrons even when the bar is closed—the attached DNA Pizza is open 24 hours. The choices go far beyond pizza, from sandwiches and salads to a full coffee bar. There are plenty of choices for pizza by the “splice,” as they say, with a special offering each day. The night I stopped by, the “splice of the day” was the Cheeseburger, whose official (laminated!) ingredient card lists cheddar, provolone, ground beef, bacon, red onion… and more bacon! Splice it any way you want it, there’s something for everyone here, no matter what time it is. (371 11th St. 626-0166. www.DNApizza.com)

Over in the Tenderloin, it’s not uncommon to hear its denizens singing off-key renditions of show tunes to make a quick buck or two—but knowing there’s a full menu at The Great American Music Hall is music to my ears. On weekends, restaurants can entail lengthy waits that you just can’t afford when rushing to eat before a show—but The Great American Music Hall offers dining options to all patrons, with items such as “The After-School Special,” a combo of Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup; Pulled Pork Sandwiches; and Music Hall Tri-Colored Nachos. There is also a separate dinner menu, available to dinner ticket-holders only. (859 O’Farrell St. 885-0750. www.gamh.com)

One of my newest discoveries is a venue that’s not new at all. The stylish yet informal Olive on Larkin Street is a comfortable, narrow lounge with an eager, friendly staff, serving a full menu of cocktails and nibbles. My favorite type of establishment is one where you can feel free to just order drinks, but throw in an appetizer here or there if you feel peckish, not having to worry about overstaying your welcome. With several high-top tables for friends to share, and ample bar seating for nights out alone, the menu ranges from thin-crust pizzas to specialties such as Spicy Ahi Tuna, Baked Brie and Monte Cristo Sandwiches. (743 Larkin St. 776-9814. www.olive-sf.com

Harvey’s, proudly perched on the bustling corner of 18th and Castro streets, is also known for its hearty offerings of food and booze. From Chamtinis- a flavored champagne cocktail- to the popular, extensive list of Bloody Marys, those looking to brunch, lunch or have a casual dinner can do so peacefully, while people-watching out of the large windows on two sides of the rectangular room. Harvey’s Buttermilk Fried Chicken, a favorite from the past, recently returned to the menu and has pleased this reporter’s stomach on numerous occasions. You can also choose from a variety of burgers with custom toppings, like The Cowgirl, which consists of basil, roasted garlic and peppers, jack cheese and pesto mayo. (500 Castro St.431-4278.   www.harveyssf.com)

Just outside of the Castro, Rebel, a predominantly gay bar on Market Street, also offers an evening of booze, beats, dancing and a barbecue-heavy menu served by Sneaky’s BBQ. At first glance, with motorcycle helmets and several stripper poles meeting the eye upon entrance, it could be hard to believe that they even serve food, let alone standout barbecue. With BBQ Chicken, Pulled Pork and Mac and Cheese as some of the options, your stomach will feel happy and full, and even better—you don’t have to wander far to dance off the calories! (1760 Market St.431-4202. http://twitter.com/#!/rebel_sf)